I’m out here y’all. Back in the swing of dating. It’s been a minute. 5259600, to be more exact. You can add about 10 more to this number by the time I’m done with this entry.
You get the point.
So, I figured I’d remind myself with this article I wrote last year. And anybody else who might need it.
So then.
A few considerations when thinking about dating:
If it takes you longer than one hour to get ready for a date-
Youaren’ttogether.
Manage time? No. Manage yourself in the time you’ve got.
Let’s face it. We’re not talking your wedding here, we’re talking what…dinner? movie? concert? Casual. If you find that it takes you longer than one hour, from shower to stiletto, to get ready for a date, ask yourself what image it is that you trying to project? Keyword here: Trying.
(Note to moms: I’m not talking about the time it takes to get the dear child to the sitter. I’m talking about the total time it takes you, to get ready for a date. Calm down. I understand.)
Bottom line- We don’t have to tryto be who we already are. We don’t need a lot of time to be ourselves. If you have to schedule an “overhaul” for a first date, chances are you’re bringing the old you to a new thing. Starting off misrepresenting yourself is a one way ticket to disaster.
Can you afford to be in a serious relationship?
If you are looking to your significant other to fill an emotional, financial or social void in your life, the relationship that you would benefit most from is the one you create with
What’s it to you?
yourself. Here’s a question: How much do you cost on an average date?
If you know this off hand, kudos. You’re well ahead of the crowd.
If you don’t know, it could be that you haven’t taken yourself on enough dates. Bottom line: In romantic relationships, it is your responsibility to your partner to let them know how to treat you. And you’ll never know how, if you don’t find out for yourself. People treat you the way that you allow them to. How can you expect someone to drop a couple hundred on you on a first date, when your regular hangout is the McDonalds?
What’s the difference between dating someone and being in a relationship with someone?
This, is a tricky one. Ninety percent of the people that responded to this held the same belief, which is that a relationship indicates a greater level of commitment, while dating is identified as non-committal, and casual. And while these things as we understand them hold true, I’m going to ask you pay more attention to how you’re investing your time. Know that we are all in relationship with everything we come into contact with in life.
And the answer is: “dating is a type of relationship”
Do you want to be in a relationship because you’re ready to be in a romantic relationship or because you don’t know how to not be in a relationship?
Go ‘head. Sit with this one a while.
Are you really ready to be in a relationship? Do you have your shit together? Have you resolved and at least unpacked your baggage? Have you figured out how to balance your personal and professional lives? Have you given yourself the time and space to find out? Honestly. Think about it. Let me know.
I’ll let you know how this Return to Dating is working out for me.
So I’m skimming the timeline on the facebook, and I run across a story that reads,
Sharkeisha killed in a drive-by shooting
For those of you who are unfamiliar, Sharkeisha Tyesia Thompson, became an internet sensation months ago following the video of her beating a Sha’Michael Manuel over what seemed to be, a boy.
And while the video footage has been deleted from the Instagram, this surfaced on Tuesday:
What’s sicker? The hoax, or the comments??
The story, as told on Huzlers.com, states that Sharkeisha was killed in a drive-by shooting. Further research says that this story is a hoax.
And that’s all well and good. That’s the nature of the internets.
What’s troubling, were the comments that people left regarding this incident.
My irritation grew into anger and disgust. First, at the absolute oblivion to the fact that Huzlers.com is a satirical site. For entertainment purposes. Then, I grew more angry at the fact that the death of a teen-aged girl, bully or not, is subject for entertainment. Furthermore, that there are people out here that actually feel like the “incident”, is JUSTIFIED. Dann SoulJourney even brought God into the argument.
These types of things lessen my faith in the goodness in people. It makes me think of similar reactions in nationwide cases like Trayvonn Martin, and Reneisha McBride. And while these teenagers weren’t killed in acts of “vengeance”, the same practice of trying the dead for their own murder, is here in this report.
We like to see the “bad guy” get theirs. Remember the Marcus Arceneaux case?? So then, do we look for the bad in a person that’s been harmed or killed, so that we feel justified in feeling justified about what happened to them??
Get it together, folks. Ask yourselves:
1. Why is the death of a teenage girl topic for jokes?
2. Why did some part of you felt like “that’s what she gets” after reading the headline?
3. What part of you makes it okay to encourage death, as means of punishment?
It’s been quite some time!
