Hi. My Name is Scheherazade, and I Hate Cleaning.

There.  I said it.

I. Hate. Cleaning.

But I love order, so I try.  I really really try to have this “stronger than dirt”, “power of Pinesol”, kinda living space.  The kitchen though, is the bane of my existence.

I absolutely hate cleaning the kitchen.

wastedlifecleanhouse

I blame my lack of domestic savoir-faire on being a creative.  You know, being one of those artsty types.  Then, it was a lack of time.  Then, a lack of interest. Followed by post-partum depression coupled with bereavement.  That became depression, and overall malaise.

I’d have spurts of perfect kitchen order.  My sink, perfectly shined. Dishes washed, dried and put away.  Magazine ready counters with home grown herbal accoutrements; after all, who doesn’t love the smell of freshly cut basil or lavender?  Oh, and isn’t rosemary divine!!

I was a devout follower of The FlyLady for a good while, and, she’s really on to something.

I’m just not into cleaning.

But, I had a spurt yesterday.  A cleaning out of the refrigerator spurt, and this is what I discovered:

Scheherazade Washington Parrish
My wants, my reality, my beliefs… and my mold.

Yep.  Last month’s dinner, neatly tucked away, in my Family Dollar tupperware.

I mean, WHO lives like this?

I do.  I spend lots of my time talking, reading, writing, laughing, teaching, and mom-ing.  I don’t even realize that I’ve run low on storagewears until after I’ve mommed, and I’m putting away leftovers in the name of not wasting food.

When I get down time, I’m completely down.  As in, asleep.

But remember, I try.  So somewhere in between all of that, I make attempts at organizing.

Making my kitchen look like the commercials.  Because all of the moms in the commercials have their entire lives together, and even when they don’t, it’s nothing a fresh pot of coffee the snap of a finger and a Wet-Jet mopping system can’t solve.

So, I put on a pot of coffee. I wash dishes. Dry them and put them away.  Match all of the storage containers to their tops.  Which brings me to this damned bowl of corned beef and cabbage stench, and this dilemma:

I just paired all of this damn Family Dollar tupperware.  I don’t want to throw it away, because that’s wasteful right?

Right?

Ask me how many hot damns I gave about a waste, in that moment.

You see, I knew full well, (we all know) that opening that little click top bowl, would ruin my day. Would ruin my son’s day.

The smell that was trapped underneath that little click top, would be the backdrop to life as we knew it for the next 12 hours.

And let’s face it:  A 24 piece click top tupperware from the Family Dollar, costs about $12.  Which is 50 cents per piece.  That means that that bowl, is a dollar.

You know I threw that shit away, right?

Made a list of things to get from the Family Dollar.

And decided to stop making excuses for the fact that I just don’t like cleaning, and take small steps to clean, like it or not.  One such step:

Do one task a day.  This takes the pressure out of an otherwise overwhelming situation.  If I approach the feat of cleaning my home as a single task, I’d be swept into a black hole of despair. Knowing that I have to clean the kitchen on Wednesday, means that I have hours to get my kitchen done.  And hours is enough time to get distracted, and still get the job done.  More often than not, because there’s so much time left over, I wind up tackling some other housekeeping task, though there’s no demand to do so.

And, I’m giving The Fly Lady another shot.  Her’s is the only system that works for me.  She even factors drinking water into the mix.  I dig her.  She makes cleaning, not feel so:
Movies puppets dark crystal gelfling life essence gif

We’ll see.

 

Is it just me?? Leave your comment below!!

scheherazade w parrish

Before you go on another date…

I’m out here y’all.  Back in the swing of dating.  It’s been a minute.  5259600, to be more exact.  You can add about 10 more to this number by the time I’m done with this entry.

You get the point.

So, I figured I’d remind myself with this article I wrote last year.  And anybody else who might need it.

 

So then.

 A few considerations when thinking about dating:

 

  • If it takes you longer than one hour to get ready for a date-

You  aren’t together.

You can't manage time.  You can only manage yourself, with the time that you have.
Manage time?  No. Manage yourself in the time you’ve got.

Let’s face it.  We’re not talking your wedding here, we’re talking what…dinner? movie? concert?   Casual.  If you find that it takes you longer than one    hour, from shower to stiletto, to get ready for a date, ask yourself what image it is that you trying to project?  Keyword here:  Trying.

(Note to moms:  I’m not talking about the time it takes to get the dear child to the sitter.  I’m talking about the total time it takes you, to get ready for a date.  Calm down.  I understand.)

Bottom line-  We don’t  have to try to be who we already are.  We don’t need a lot of time to be ourselves.  If you have to schedule an “overhaul” for a first date, chances are you’re bringing the old you to a new thing.   Starting off misrepresenting yourself is a one way ticket to disaster.

 

 

  • Can you afford to be in a serious relationship?

 If you are looking to your significant other to fill an emotional, financial or social void in your life, the relationship that you would benefit most from is the one you create with

What it to you?
What’s it to you?

yourself.  Here’s a question:  How much do you cost on an average date?

If you know this off hand, kudos.  You’re well ahead of the crowd.

If you don’t know, it could be that you haven’t taken yourself on enough dates.   Bottom line:  In romantic relationships, it is your responsibility to your partner to let them know how to treat you.  And you’ll never know how, if you don’t find out for yourself.  People treat you the way that you allow them to.  How can you expect someone to drop a couple hundred on you on a first date, when your regular hangout is the McDonalds?

 

  •  What’s the difference between dating someone and being in a relationship with someone?

This, is a tricky one.   Ninety percent of the people that responded  to this held the same belief, which is that a relationship indicates a greater level of commitment, while dating is identified as non-committal, and casual.  And while these things as we understand them hold true, I’m going to ask you pay more attention to how you’re investing your time.  Know that we are all in relationship with everything we come into contact with in life.

And the answer is: “dating is a type of relationship”

 

  •  Do you want to be in a relationship because you’re ready to be in a romantic relationship or because you don’t know how to not be in a relationship?

Go ‘head.  Sit with this one a while.

Are you really ready to be in a relationship?  Do you have your shit together?  Have you resolved and at least unpacked your baggage? Have you figured out how to balance your personal and professional lives?  Have you given yourself the time and space to find out?  Honestly.  Think about it.  Let me know.

 

I’ll let you know how this Return to Dating is working out for me.

You can find the original post  here.

 

If you like what you’ve read, let me know.  Leave a comment below.

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When bad things happen to bad people…

So I’m skimming the timeline on the facebook, and I run across a story that reads,

Sharkeisha killed in a drive-by shooting

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Sharkeisha Tyesia Thompson, became an internet sensation months ago following the video of her beating a Sha’Michael Manuel over what seemed to be, a boy.

And while the video footage has been deleted from the Instagram, this surfaced on Tuesday:

What's sicker?  The hoax, or the comments??
What’s sicker? The hoax, or the comments??

The story, as told on Huzlers.com, states that Sharkeisha was killed in a drive-by shooting.  Further research says that this story is a hoax.

And that’s all well and good.  That’s the nature of the internets.

What’s troubling, were the comments that people left regarding this incident.

 

Jennell Profound Missunderstood A ·  Top Commenter · Ashford University

LIVE BY THE SWORD, YOU WILL DIE BY IT!! #SADTOSAY

Mike Bugatti Simpson · Follow · Sales at Macy’s

I bet the girl she hit in the face probably got her killed off the strength she dating Cheif Kief

Dann SoulJourney Slaughter Finklea · Follow ·  Top Commenter · Photographer at From a Walk to a Journey

You Weep what you Sow! God Knows!
I got irritated the more of comments I saw.


My irritation grew into anger and disgust.  First, at the absolute oblivion to the fact that Huzlers.com is a satirical site. For entertainment purposes. Then, I grew more angry at the fact that the death of a teen-aged girl, bully or not, is subject for entertainment.  Furthermore, that there are people out here that actually feel like the “incident”, is JUSTIFIED. Dann SoulJourney even brought God into the argument.

 

These types of things lessen my faith in the goodness in people.  It makes me think of similar reactions in nationwide cases like Trayvonn Martin, and Reneisha McBride.  And while these teenagers weren’t killed in acts of “vengeance”, the same practice of trying the dead for their own murder, is here in this report.

 

We like to see the “bad guy” get theirs.   Remember the Marcus Arceneaux case??  So then, do we look for the bad in a person that’s been harmed or killed, so that we feel justified in feeling justified about what happened to them??

 

Get it together, folks.   Ask yourselves:

1.  Why is the death of a teenage girl topic for jokes?

2.  Why did some part of you felt like “that’s what she gets” after reading the headline?

3.  What part of you makes it okay to encourage death, as means of punishment?

 

The Huzler’s article, if you hadn’t figured out by now, is a hoax.