The Detroit Neighborhood Guidebook

Yesterday was pretty awesome.

The long awaited anthology The Detroit Neighborhood Guidebook launched.  Tons of Detroiters.  A few transplants, but hey…

Big thanks to Aaron K. Foley, for the opportunity and for the platform to showcase Detroit’s many voices.

If you missed the reading, here’s a peek of my piece.  If you want to see the other ones, you’ve gotta get your own.

Good thing for you, books are on shelves now!

 

What Wikipedia Won’t Tell You About Delray, Michigan 48209

 

You can smell Delray

from three different cities.

In the summer, Delray smells like the shit that burns

and under the I-75, it rains exhaust all year.

 

The skies are streaked yellow during the day, and

someplace between steel and sewerage

the smell of pancakes, fish and grits

wakes a household.

 

In the miasma of waste and Zug

a grandfather calls his granddaughter Shank

and teaches her to sow New Year’s collards

in the front yard.

 

Someplace, between Yale and West End streets,

that grandfather’s daughter remembered him

in beds of mustards, and tomatoes.  She teaches

her daughter that onions are lilies.

 

Someplace between funk and rot, folks

are tired of not being able to breathe in the day

tired of not being able to sleep at night.

My father lives there, still.

 

Some nights, if you listen closely

you can hear the neighborhood hum

something between stench and haze

between song and secret.

 

Breakup Update – I’m Still Here

It’s been a few days.  Five days to be exact, since I’ve shared the goings ons, and progresses and silver linings behind breakup bullshit.

So I’m back to fill you in.

Day 5 – I was on a roll.  Snapping pictures and drinking water and writing and shit.  Then it hit me, and I spent a considerable time wallowing in something between sadness and embarrassment.  Did you *really* post your dirty assed kitchen sink for the world to see Scheherazade? was the soundtrack of the day, which was only slightly calmed with yeah, don’t worry.  It’s not the whole world.  It’s about 10 people, 8 of whom have been in your kitchen.  

Moving on…

I’ve visited my garden a few times, and since I all but blew the spring season, I’m gonna shoot for fall crops. This means lettuces, spinach, and radishes.  So, that’s what I’m gonna plant.  In October, I’m gonna plant more spinach.  Maybe I can find some collard or kale plants that need a new home.  At any rate, I’ve got amazing mint, which hasn’t overtaken everything, which is a surprise.

I slept.  Lots.  I’d take my son to Freedom School, come home, and sleep until it was time to pick him up. That’s all day.  I sat in my kitchen and looked at my sink.

By that night though, I’d managed to clean my sink, and counter, cook dinner and put leftovers away.

August 2016. Kitchen sink, counter, dinner. LaCroix Water, which I do not like. Wax cube, seasoning, and mustard out of place.

Day 6 – The kitchen is still clean.

I’m starting to feel it though.  That empty that happens when it’s officially the longest you’ve gone without it.  I’m still trying to put words to it.  During my The Affair binge, I learned what FOMO was. And yes, I’m certain that a key ingredient to that empty that I’m feeling, is in fact the FOMO.  Fear Of Missing Out.

Definition of FOMO in English:

Pronunciation: /ˈfōmō/
noun, informal

Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website:

Or, in this case, absence of social media interaction.

And to be fair, I’m not off of all social media, the other platforms just don’t do it for me.

So, FOMO.

Today was a water heavy day.   Nothing of note or particularly inspirational.  Just blah.

Water, FOMO and blah.

Day 7 – Morning text:  Hey Sche!  Come eat.

Sister-friend love served right.
Sister-friend love served right <3

So, I took my son and went to breakfast.  Had a good talk, and even better breakfast:

Shrimp & Grits (dripping with butter) with Spinach Omelette.

I ate the omelette before I could take a picture of it.

I ate and laughed and drank water.

Talked about growing older and next steps. We talked about health and how the body has it’s way of letting you know when you need to stop playing and take care of yourself.  We’re not in our twenties anymore.  Shit hurts.  And silver lining- There’s nothing like a cramp that yanks your toe both in toward your heart and up toward the sky simultaneously, to make you forget about anything that could possibly be missing out on the Facebook.  Praise the toe cramp.

Toes cramping up?  Up your water and mineral intake:

  • Yogurt, low-fat milk, and cheese are all high in calcium.
  • Spinach and broccoli are good sources of potassium and magnesium.
  • Almonds are high in magnesium.
  • Bananas are high in potassium.

Day 7 ends with the son’s sleepover.  He’s hosting one of his schoolmates and my former student.  We were supposed to execute these grand plans of gardening and bike riding and water parking.  So far, we’ve pizza’d and video gamed.  And though the mom guilt kicks in hard, my good friend and neighbor reminds me that they’re boys.  They’re fine.  And right now, I’m practically winning in awesome momness.

Days 8 and 9, to come.

xo,

scheherazade w parrish

Supporting vs. Enabling. What are you doing?

I was rummaging through all of my social media outlets and came across this question on my Ask.fm page.

Seems timely enough.

 

That said, friends, I appreciate your continued support of my separation from the Facebook.

 

ask.fm/sixwordcoaching
Ask Scheherazade

Anytime actions move from the goal to the person or feeling, you’ve moved from supporter to enabler.

Supporting doesn’t ‘become’ enabling.  These gestures have very different energies. Take a minute and say, “support”

How does that feel in your body?

Now say, “enable”

Eww, right?

There’s one difference.

I’d have to say that support typically is attached to a goal.    

Support moves us closer to the goal.  This does not always mean that we feel good in the moment of action.  “Tough love” I’ve heard it called.Enabling, is attached to a person or an emotion.   If your actions aren’t moving you closer to a goal, then you’re enabling.


Still not sure?  Here are a couple questions to ask yourself:

 

  • Is this person doing their level best to help them self?
  • Am I afraid  that not doing something will cause a blowup or  make the person angry with me?
  • Are my actions motivated by pity or guilt?
  • Am I helping this person to take advantage of their full potential?
  • Have my actions resulted in progress?
  • Do I feel my help isn’t appreciated or acknowledged?
  • Do I ignore unacceptable behavior?
  • Am I resentful of the responsibilities I’ve taken on?
  • What harm can come from my actions?
  • Do I lie to cover for someone else’s actions?

Thanks for your question!!

Did you find this answer useful?  If so, share it with a friend!!

Have a question?  ASK me here.

 

Xo

scheherazade w parrish