Supporting vs. Enabling. What are you doing?

I was rummaging through all of my social media outlets and came across this question on my Ask.fm page.

Seems timely enough.

 

That said, friends, I appreciate your continued support of my separation from the Facebook.

 

ask.fm/sixwordcoaching
Ask Scheherazade

Anytime actions move from the goal to the person or feeling, you’ve moved from supporter to enabler.

Supporting doesn’t ‘become’ enabling.  These gestures have very different energies. Take a minute and say, “support”

How does that feel in your body?

Now say, “enable”

Eww, right?

There’s one difference.

I’d have to say that support typically is attached to a goal.    

Support moves us closer to the goal.  This does not always mean that we feel good in the moment of action.  “Tough love” I’ve heard it called.Enabling, is attached to a person or an emotion.   If your actions aren’t moving you closer to a goal, then you’re enabling.


Still not sure?  Here are a couple questions to ask yourself:

 

  • Is this person doing their level best to help them self?
  • Am I afraid  that not doing something will cause a blowup or  make the person angry with me?
  • Are my actions motivated by pity or guilt?
  • Am I helping this person to take advantage of their full potential?
  • Have my actions resulted in progress?
  • Do I feel my help isn’t appreciated or acknowledged?
  • Do I ignore unacceptable behavior?
  • Am I resentful of the responsibilities I’ve taken on?
  • What harm can come from my actions?
  • Do I lie to cover for someone else’s actions?

Thanks for your question!!

Did you find this answer useful?  If so, share it with a friend!!

Have a question?  ASK me here.

 

Xo

scheherazade w parrish

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