Before you go on another date…

I’m out here y’all.  Back in the swing of dating.  It’s been a minute.  5259600, to be more exact.  You can add about 10 more to this number by the time I’m done with this entry.

You get the point.

So, I figured I’d remind myself with this article I wrote last year.  And anybody else who might need it.


So then.

 A few considerations when thinking about dating:


  • If it takes you longer than one hour to get ready for a date-

You  aren’t together.

You can't manage time.  You can only manage yourself, with the time that you have.
Manage time?  No. Manage yourself in the time you’ve got.

Let’s face it.  We’re not talking your wedding here, we’re talking what…dinner? movie? concert?   Casual.  If you find that it takes you longer than one    hour, from shower to stiletto, to get ready for a date, ask yourself what image it is that you trying to project?  Keyword here:  Trying.

(Note to moms:  I’m not talking about the time it takes to get the dear child to the sitter.  I’m talking about the total time it takes you, to get ready for a date.  Calm down.  I understand.)

Bottom line-  We don’t  have to try to be who we already are.  We don’t need a lot of time to be ourselves.  If you have to schedule an “overhaul” for a first date, chances are you’re bringing the old you to a new thing.   Starting off misrepresenting yourself is a one way ticket to disaster.



  • Can you afford to be in a serious relationship?

 If you are looking to your significant other to fill an emotional, financial or social void in your life, the relationship that you would benefit most from is the one you create with

What it to you?
What’s it to you?

yourself.  Here’s a question:  How much do you cost on an average date?

If you know this off hand, kudos.  You’re well ahead of the crowd.

If you don’t know, it could be that you haven’t taken yourself on enough dates.   Bottom line:  In romantic relationships, it is your responsibility to your partner to let them know how to treat you.  And you’ll never know how, if you don’t find out for yourself.  People treat you the way that you allow them to.  How can you expect someone to drop a couple hundred on you on a first date, when your regular hangout is the McDonalds?


  •  What’s the difference between dating someone and being in a relationship with someone?

This, is a tricky one.   Ninety percent of the people that responded  to this held the same belief, which is that a relationship indicates a greater level of commitment, while dating is identified as non-committal, and casual.  And while these things as we understand them hold true, I’m going to ask you pay more attention to how you’re investing your time.  Know that we are all in relationship with everything we come into contact with in life.

And the answer is: “dating is a type of relationship”


  •  Do you want to be in a relationship because you’re ready to be in a romantic relationship or because you don’t know how to not be in a relationship?

Go ‘head.  Sit with this one a while.

Are you really ready to be in a relationship?  Do you have your shit together?  Have you resolved and at least unpacked your baggage? Have you figured out how to balance your personal and professional lives?  Have you given yourself the time and space to find out?  Honestly.  Think about it.  Let me know.


I’ll let you know how this Return to Dating is working out for me.

You can find the original post  here.


If you like what you’ve read, let me know.  Leave a comment below.

Share this with somebody you think needs to read it.

and , subscribe.  It only takes an email address.  (I don’t spam)

Leave a comment!